


The Sleeping Man

by Andromeda



Category: Life on Mars (UK)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-01-09
Updated: 2007-01-09
Packaged: 2017-10-20 05:32:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/209278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andromeda/pseuds/Andromeda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Warning: Graphic description of mental illness</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Sleeping Man

Maya visits Sam in hospital almost every day. Six months in and she still feels guilty walking down the corridor to his room. Survivor's guilt, the doctors call it, but Maya feels that's wrong. Surely someone needs to have died to have survivor's guilt. Someone needs to have survived.

Apprehension too. The long walk down the white corridor never gets easier and seems to get harder as Maya tries not to think about how Sam will be today. Will he be better, will he be worse? Will he be lying comatose, eyes unblinkingly staring at the ceiling, peaceful and at rest?

Or will he be ranting and railing, tearing at the flesh of all who come near? Tearing at his own until the doctors come with their blessed hypodermics to strap him down?

A psychotic break. That's what the doctors call it. Brought on by grief and stress after the kidnapping. And there's the guilt. All still fresh and plump. Welling up from the might-have-beens and if-I'd-onlys and spilling down her cheeks at inappropriate times. Never mind that Kramer had been old, unfit and no match for the captain of the best women’s football team in the history of the station. Less than three hours had gone by before she radioed in for transport. No, three hours missing and that was why Sam had been found at the side of the road talking to people who weren’t there and complaining about a car accident.

There was no sign of an accident.

So here he is now. In the cocoon of a too-warm, white room while the doctors work through their pills and potions to find the one that will bring Sam back to her.

Some days Sam doesn’t notice anyone around him. He walks up and down the room, talking and arguing with the voices inside his head. He talks to "Ray", argues with "The Guv", lectures "Chris" and flirts with "Annie". Maya tries not to notice the last.

There are days when Sam is almost completely unresponsive. Lying on his back, hardly breathing, his open eyes the only indication he is not asleep. Maya reads to him, though why on earth she picked Alice in Wonderland she doesn't know.

Then there are the days when Sam is afraid. He cowers in the corner of his room, hands over his ears, the tears running down his face. Rocking backwards and forwards, mumbling and flinching when people move near.

The days in which Sam is lucid are the worst of all.

They take a turn in the hospital grounds after lunch. Sam talks about the new medication and long-term plans that are moving closer. Maya tries not to notice the high perimeter walls and discreet orderlies oh-so-casually walking down the path. They don't talk about the past although it is there, the elephant in the middle of the room. Sam doesn't remember the events that conspired to put him in hospital and he doesn't ask. Maya is perversely glad for that.

Back inside for a nice cup of tea. Just the thing to wash the little white pills down with. Maya tries not to notice when Sam, who only ever drank black Earl Grey with a slice of lemon, almost empties the sugar bowl into his tea and smacks his lips appreciatively.

Then, perhaps, a game of cards. A subtle way of assessing how well Sam is doing today. Can he track the play? Is he easily distracted? Change the game after a couple of rounds. Does Sam cope with the change? Maya tries not to feel like a manipulative bitch when Sam gets a drop wrong for the fourth time in succession and creases his forehead in frustration.

Sam suddenly sits bolt upright, frightening her into silence. A strange look passes over his face as he sweeps the cards off the table and leans forward.

"So, Eddie. Tell me. You know what you’re here for? Murder. That’s what. The murder of a police officer."

He flourishes his hand of cards and slides them into the middle of the table, one by one. "DI Roy. A good cop. A very good cop. Butchered at your hands. Take a good look, Eddie. That's your handiwork, that is."

Maya looks away at that. The panic button is only a couple of feet away, but Sam is quick. He's up and round the table before Maya can move.

"Did you know she and I were dating?"

Sam grabs her hair and pushes her face towards the cards. "Look, Kramer! Can you see what you did to her?"

Looking at the playing cards spread in front of her, their faces blurring in her tears, Maya can. She sees her own face, blue under the lights, the livid bruises around her neck. She sees the close up of the dead, filmy eyes, the long shot of the battered corpse and the bile rises in her throat. She wrenches herself free, but, before she is able to hit the panic button, orderlies rush in. Ever vigilant to Sam’s moods they are quickly able to restrain him and usher Maya out of the room.

At home, after the shaking has finally stopped, Maya knows that she has to be strong. Strong for Sam so he can finally come back home. But it's oh so hard. She needs to be stronger than the day her mother died. Stronger than the day she was kidnapped by Edward Kramer.

Edward Kramer. Maya still doesn’t know how Sam knows the name.


End file.
